Unprofessional Terms of Endearment

The only people who should be using terms of endearment directed at me are my family and my mate. I do give some leeway to fat southern women, they seem to not be able to help themselves, and I've gotten use to 'how you doing dear' from obese waitress in diners and retail shops.

But I do Not like being assaulted by it at Costco. I hate trips to Costco already, the lines are long, no one knows how to control those huge carts (wide turns, stopping in the middle of the isle, walking slower than a dying elephant, inability to look both ways before turning into the center isle) and it makes me feel distinctly agoraphobic (which is fitting because agora in Greek means market).

To make it all the more unpleasant, I was in the checkout line and had to deal with being called all manner of endearing terms by a very big black male clerk. Not a fat older woman. And he wasn't using it in a 'what would you like to order, dear' manner. He used a term in every sentence, and his tone was the same as you'd use to pick up on a drunk woman in a bar.

It gave me shivers to be called Love, Dear, Darling and Sweetheart numerous times in the 3 minutes it took to buy my crap. I was This Close to reporting him to management just to get the icky skin-crawly feeling to go away. It crossed my mind to loudly ask, 'Have we fucked? Cause if we haven't, you'd better knock off the bedroom talk." Or maybe I should have just called him Sugartits and been done with it.

Mad Hatter's Pottery Candles

I just got some gorgeous little pots and candles and have to share. They are from Mad Hatter's Pottery in North Carolina. I got 2, and now that I see them up close and personal, I want more!

This is how they came wrapped, like lovely presents.

This one is Feng Shui Water.



Gorgeous little handmade pots with soy wax candle. I have to keep them wrapped in plastic cause they are fresh and are Very Strong. I don't have to light them to get benefit, just leave them out for a few minutes and the whole room is scented.

Love the pendant attached with twine.

This is to give size reference. My hands are small, this is a touch over 3" across.

The perfect size for jewelry and trinkets after the wax is burned.


I'm absolutely thrilled with these pieces! I don't want to give them as gifts..

Echoes in an empty skull

Today was one of those days when I can't get out of my own head. No matter what I read, listen to or do, the stress of not having a constant income stream (even ebay sucks as income these days with no one bidding on once popular items) is throbbing loudly in my skull.

I did get a lot done, I have 50 pendants to drop to a bazaar for this weekend, so I spent all day organizing, cutting, sticking and labeling. And more photo editing and ebay. But my head was still full of fuzzy lead and the feeling that something bad will happen soon. No thanks to hearing yesterday that we are officially in a rescession, and have been so for a year. Now that it's official that means people will pull back from buying luxury goods even more. And that's what I make! Food and entertainment are pretty stable choices, but I'm making and selling stuff that is for fun and decoration. Sales have already been sucking for months. Etsy is not doing a good job advertising itself to buyers and no matter what I'm doing with it, it's not enough.

So I have no distraction outlet. No tv, no streaming video (my heatsink went kablooie a week ago and the .. no need to get technical, it overheats if I have more than 1 program open), I can't stay focused on a book, my roommates are not the kind of people I can hang with, all my friends are busy. I called a couple to catch up, but it did nothing to allay my nervous empty discomfort.

Food was the next step. I went to my favorite vegetarian indian restaurant. Completely packed with young scruffy boho types. Food was decent as usual, but I was too distracted to be in the moment and enjoy it. I wanted to sit at a strangers table and have an interesting conversation. On days like this I want to get on craigslist and say 'I want to meet a stranger for dinner, come to -blank- at 7pm and we'll talk about nothing in particular'. But I know it will not turn out as well as my imagination.

Picked up a bag of toffees that totally blew my blood sugar (I can feel the palpitations as I write). I then drove around Palms in exploratory mode. Looking for interesting restaurants, parks, gas prices (1.87!), and I found myself driving north. So now I'm at the boyfriends house blogging, while he is doing the last of another 12 hour day in Culver City.

I've had plenty of days like this when I was desperately looking for a job during the summer, and I'm not liking it at all. It's not something I can get use to.

I don't like not having someone around to talk to, someone to curl up with, someone to discuss events and ideas and nonsuch whenever I want to. And it's making me think about things I thought were long dead. Heck, I'm even feeling bad about breaking up with past boyfriends. Perfectly nice men who were not what I wanted at the time. 15 years later and I'm lamenting my breakup w/ a guy in college. My brain is feeling lonely and it's actively rubbing my face in it.

The bane of the locker room

I've heard from many guys that the bane of the locker room is the guy (no matter what he looks like) who wanders around naked, not even carrying a towel, takes his time getting dressed while boldly talking to people. The rest of us want to get out of the shower, get dressed and get out. It's a nasty locker room (no matte how nice the gym) , no one wants to pop a bottle of wine and hang out there, barefoot and naked.

Well we have these annoyances too. In my gym they have a little workout area in the women's locker room for those who want to stretch, cool down, and do their workout privately w/out feeling eyes on them. It's a little space with exercise balls and floor mats at the far end of the locker room.

I was just going to go swim, and realized I hadn't done ab work in ages, so, since I was wearing seriously scruffy clothes, I went to that workout area. As I walked over, this naked woman was talking to another couple of women who were getting dressed. She shuffled her clothes around in a bag but made no attempt to put them on. She wasn't drying off or anything, just talking loudly and naked.

They left, more women came in. And left. More women came in. And she was Still there yakking loudly to anyone who was in the vicinty about where she worked, what she was doing for the holidays and who she blahblahblah. I finished my 15 min workout and left. She was still naked! Just standing around blabbing, still shuffling her clothes like she was gonna put them on any minute. If you're gonna be a nudist who likes to talk to strangers (none of whom is also standing around naked like they have nothing to do) , doing in a locker room is not the place! Did you leave your brain in your car? Or is it just idling while your mouth is running full speed.

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As I was leaving, a small asian woman told an attendant, in a loud and angry voice, to not move her bag. The attendant said she's not responsible for her bag and wasn't going to touch it . The asian woman responded that the bag was 'too big to fit in a locker' so she just leaves it sitting out. 'I'm only working out for 20 minutes anyway'. She continued on that the last time she left it, someone had the gall to bring it to the front desk!

An unattended bag that someone was nice enough to bring to the front desk/lost n' found. Oh the horror. She's complaining that people were being nice, instead of rummaging through her stuff and stealing it. I had to peer around the corner to see what was up with the special bag, and it was indeed huge. Weekend stay in Maui big. Lady, you came here in a car, leave your shit there.

People are weird. Maybe I should just make this a 'people are annoying and I wish I could slap these strangers' blog.

Use the middle of the intersection

it doesn't matter if you're from connecticut or santa monica - if you are making a left turn, move into the Middle Of The Intersection. Not your front tires into the crosswalk, not your front tires just over the crosswalk, get into the middle of the damn road like a real driver and do it right. You blow it for everyone behind you if you don't do it right.

And if you are not in the middle where you belong, and I'm behind you, I'm going to honk. I fantasize about having a beater car with a huge Smittybilt bumper, so I could dunk into those idiots when they don't drive the way they are suppose to.

Actual conversation in the Post Office

Yesterday, at the Rancho Park Post Office on Exposition in West LA I had yet another odd encounter. That makes 3, and I'm no longer going back. The clerk didn't look at me the during the entire exchange, mumbled everything including the usual (is anything fragile, liquid, perishable?).

For the first time Ever that I've been to a post office, I don't get asked if I want delivery confirmation or insurance (which I did, but blanked on it because I was trying to figure out what was wrong with this guy) AND the clerk doesn't put the postage on the packages in front of me, so I know that he's charging me the same as he's putting on the packages. Before I've even paid, he takes the package and the label, walks over to some other clerk, and has a 3 minute conversation with her while I'm standing there waiting. He throws it in the letter bin and comes back.

I asked him to stamp 'do not bend' on one item and he completely ignores me.

He doesn't stamp 'air mail' on the air mail package. He doesn't even tell me how any of the stuff is being sent, just charges me. I pay 10 bucks for 5.40 worth of postage and put my hand out for the change.Then we have this wierd exchange.



Postal Clerk- so, you want your change back?

Me - um, yes?

PC - well, if it's less than 5 dollars worth of change, we have to ask.

Me- (raised eyebrows while hand is still out) sure, ok

PC - If we give you your change back, we don't get to eat lunch.

Me- um, ok (takes change)

PC - well, looks like there's not lunch for me then. Hope you enjoy yours, with your change.

All this with no eye contact. I grab my receipt and rush out the door. Now I'm looking on the USPS site to see where I can complain, and find a post office nearby that is not filled with nut jobs.

Jerrys Deli $5 minimum

Went to see 'Experimental Bellydance' last night in Venice, and realized that the producer was the woman I took 2 bellydance classes from over a decade ago. She has a modern dance background, so she's skin and bones (kinda weird for a bellydancer), and has a hard edge, rather than flowing and graceful movements. But the show had some memorable numbers and it was a fun evening w/ friends.

After some chow, we decided we wanted something sweet. Everything was closed so we decided on Jerry's Deli in Marina Del Rey. I was stuffed so I figured I'd have a bite of whatever dessert was ordered by the others, and pay half. When it came to me ordering, I said I was sharing, and the waiter told me that it was a $5 minimum per person at the table. WTF?! I can understand that they don't want a single person taking up a whole booth to nurse a coffee for several hours, but this was 3 people, 2 of which were ordering over $20 worth of food, enough to cover the average for the $5 per person. The waiter was having none of it, so I said I'm not buying anything, guess we'll have to leave.

We walked down to Von's and had raspberries, chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and a banana smoothie. We sat at their little service bar and had a wonderful quiet conversation (minus all the noise and bright lights of Jerry's) at well under $5 per person, and no tax and tip on top of that. Fuck You Jerry's. You were already too expensive (somewhere in the late 90's they decided to go from a moderately priced 24 hour deli to a hip, expensive deli, all while leaving their food and decor exactly the same), and now you force everyone at the table to pay a minimum. You've lost my biz permanently.

My new shoes with toes

Got my new vibram five fingers today. It took a lot of looking to find the size and color I wanted. Straight black, not those goofy ones with yellow between the toes. Those make your feet look like a bird flashing his feathers every time you take a step.

I wore them for 4 hours today. The fit easily (the website says they won't fit feet if your second toe is longer than your big toe, and I can see why), and didn't make my feet sore or rub in spots like All running shoes do for the first couple days. The only thing that is sore is some unused muscles in my feet and toes, since they are not use to being part of the process of getting from here to there. They are waking up.

It's not the same was walking around the house barefoot. Walking in the driveway, down to Fish King, around the block, I feel like I shouldn't be out there. After 5 years old, your mom always made you put on shoes before leaving the house (when young I suppose you would venture no further than the grass in the yard). I feel like I'm missing something around my feet. No socks, no stiff sole.

I'm walking with a shorter stride, if I use my normal long stride I find I'm banging my heel into the cement. Shorter steps allow my feet to move in a natural way, and I love the feeling of my toes being separate and functional.

I'm hoping they fix my hammer toes, all mashed and bent from years in shoes. I'm going to the gym tomorrow to see how they feel on the treadmill.

Photos of my little feet in black are forthcoming.

First time Golfing

Took Rimas out for his birthday last week to play golf at:
4141 Whitsett Ave
Studio City, CA 91604

I'd never played anything but miniature golf in my life. My grandfather had a house in Pebble Beach and was an avid golfer. I always saw it as a pretentious game played by doctors and lawyers who needed to rub shoulders and play the proper status games. The community course is short, nothing over 200 yards (they call it 'pitch and putt'), it was a gorgeous day, it was inexpensive (2.50 for set of clubs, $9 for the course, $7 for a bucket of balls to warm up on the driving range), and there were singles playing the course so it wasn't much crowded at all.

It was fun, I enjoyed it, I said fuck a lot, and now I need to find some lefty clubs if I want to play more than a couple times this year. I re-injured my shoulder by not warming up first, so I've spend the last few days in great discomfort.

Places I've lived and visited

Places I've been


visited 15 states (6.66%)
Create your own visited map of The World





visited 28 states (56%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or determine the next president

Super Fast Passport

I got my new passport today. I filled out my passport renewal and got my photos at the Glendale Clerk's office, and it was less than 2 weeks before it showed up. Cool, now I'm set for anything. I paid $92 total for the photos, renewal fee and the $5 fee for the Clerk to send it in for me. I know people that have waited 3 months, so I was really surprised to see it so fast. Must be a slow time of year, or renewals are much easier to do. It originally expired in Oct, and now I have until 2018 before I have to think about it again. That sounds like such a long way off.

Got my MOO Cards

First batch of MOO cards came today! I love the little dispensers. The cards are high quality and downright cute. Though they came out looking dull. And that is after I upped the contrast and saturation quiet a bit, based on recommendations from other MOO users.


They also came 15 after I was told that they'd shipped. I even held off on sending a few Etsy orders cause I wanted to included cards. And promptly pissed off my customers. ouch.

I don't blame MOO for the lateness, they sent out a 'they've shipped' notice on June 24th. They specifically said that it would take 5-7 working days to arrive, and to not contact them until 10 working days. I waited 15. And of course the day I tell them about it, they arrive on my doorstep.

I think it's the glendale post offices. I've had more loses and damages from the glendale post office than any other postal service or area in the US. It doesn't matter whether I'm shipping to London, or 5 miles away to the westside, I cross my fingers every time I have to send something and hope it arrives. I've spent many long minutes on the phone with unhelpful clerks trying to track packages sent anywhere and everywhere.

The only thing that seems to help is if I print up and pay online for the shipping labels with deliver confirmation. Which keeps me from having to stand in line for 30 minutes while the clerks help numerous belligerent non-english speaking customers, but also costs a bit more. I guess I have to spend either time or money to get what I need done. Maybe they put more care into making sure it arrives at it's destination knowing that an official email was sent to the waiting party who is now expecting it's arrival.

Yard Sale

Spend 6 hours on Saturday selling at Carol's multi-person yard sale.

I sold 4 boxes of bulky stufff, and donated another 10 bags to goodwill on the way home. It wasn't worth getting up at 6am to stand in the heat and get burned for less than $10 an hour. Carol's food was excellent as usual, but I much prefer enjoying the food during a party, than bargaining with a latina or philipina over a $5 item that they want for 50 cents. I get to a point where I'd rather donate it for nothing than to sell it to someone who wants to rip me off. Oh, and when they finally bargain the shit out of something, they hand me a 20 dollar bill.

Instead I'll stick to saving money (instead of trying to make it back) by buying stuff at a deep discount at thrift stores. It's way more fun to buy just the right shirt for 2 bucks after diving into the racks at a thriftstore, than buying the same shirt for $30 and trying to make 2 bucks off of at the end of it's life.

All the big ticket items like furniture and good quality art supplies are better sold on craigslist anyway. You only deal with people online, and when they come for it, they pay and leave. No bargaining or arguing. At least not the majority of the time.

A literate man cannot clean his attic

I have an entire file box of Food&Wine and Martha Stewart Living. Every one of them has at Least 2 articles in it that I want to keep. Which makes it hard to get rid of them, because I have to find and tear out and file each article. Then what do I do with them? Leave them for someone who will inevitably go, "oh cool, it's got a whole article on cupcak.. aw man, it's missing". Or do I just throw them in recycling?

Course, the last time I did that, they ended up being scavenged by our idiotic and wretched landlady, and placed (in revolving piles) in the laundry room. So even though I didn't cause it directly, I'm sure there are a few frustrated tenants anyway. Which really, I don't care about because I despise all but 3 of them to varying degrees. Mostly because they are snappish and unneighborly. How unneighborly of me.

I guess I should just recycle, since all of them are available at any library in the US. Not as if they are precious Gutenburg copies.

How hot is it?

It's so hot today that my lipstick melted in my pocket. Blech.

It's wonderful once the sun isnt' hitting the place directly, but because there is no insulation in these 1940's walls and roof, the heat actually radiates from the walls. I'm not looking forward to another brutal summer here. We're trying to decide if we want to go for another year or month to month, or just move to a place w/ central air. I love it the rest of the year, the cross breeze, the quiet (usually), the huge sinks, gas stove, hardwood floors. But this heat makes me want to crawl into the fridge and nap.

Public Health Home Kitchen Grade

I got a letter today that made my heart skip a beat. A letter from the County of Los Angeles, Environmental Health, Consultation and Technical Services. What on earth would they want with me? I made scones for the wrong person?

I opened the letter to find this!



A postcard sized laminated grade A. With a magnetized back, so I could hang it on my fridge, well, if my fridge front was metal anyway. I was surprised because I had taken the 'home inspection survey over 2 months ago. When I completed it, the grade was available to print, so I made a copy, framed it, and hung it in my kitchen. It makes me smile and makes others wonder. It never said anything about sending me an official looking one.

Want to take the survey? Find it here
http://publichealth.lacounty.gov/eh/ehquizlt.htm

dreams and memories

I woke this morning to sweaty sheets and the corners of a dream cutting into me. I threw off the covers and while I evaporated I recovered pieces of it. And realized it was a memory, not a dream.

One of my earliest memories was being in a white dress (must have been 4 or younger) and new white sandals with metal buckles. I guess mom was talking to friends out by the recreation center, cause she let me go explore. There was a scrubby dry marsh behind the apartment complex, so I carefully took off my new shoes and went wandering in to explore. I have no idea how long I was out there, but I remember the colors and textures of the bushes around me.

When she called me back, I went looking for the shoes, and only found 1 of them. I don't know why, why would I have taken them off in different places? She was furious, dragging me around the area where I thought I'd left them, to no avail. Then she spanked me. That was the part I remember most, being yanked up by my arm and smacked repeatedly for losing an expensive new pair of shoes.

To this day, my mom says she has never spanked me. But she did many many times, the last one I was 12. I remember many of them. How can she blot out every one of them? I remember that I learned to cry and scream as soon as she started hitting me so she'd think she was inflicting enough pain and stop sooner.

And now that I think about it, I've never owned a pair of white sandals in my life.

No Knead Bread

It's all the rage after the NYT article in Nov 2006, and while I was on vacation, a friend borrowed one of my massive Descoware pots to try it. She returned it with a loaf, and I was immediately driven to find the article, recipe and do some experimenting.

Of course, I never go the simple route. I started with 2 c. AP flour, 3 T gluten and 1 c. rye instead of the standard 3 c. AP flour. And my yeast was dead. After getting down to the last 4 tablespoons in the 1lb bag, and sitting in the fridge for 4 years it gave up the ghost. So I had to spend a whopping 2.69 and get another pound. Which will take even longer to use up if I only stick to this recipe, since it uses 1/4t of yeast per loaf instead of the regular 2-3 t.

Because the yeast was dead, or at least badly maimed, I gave it 2 days instead of the standard 18 hours. It still came out perfectly, though even with 2 t of salt, a bit bland.

Now I'm baking an all AP flour with olive oil and herbs de provence, and the whole house is warm with the smell of real bread.

I tend to be lazy when I bake, and don't knead enough (unless it's a really soft dough), so most of my bread is too dense. This really does make a stunning artisianal loaf, and the pot is still clean at the end of it! Less mess, no flour on the counter, and letting time do the work is a brilliant change in the standard bread making process. I've read that if it sits around for a full day or longer, it just gets more sour, which I don't mine. And if you decide not to bake it right away, I'll bet you could just seal it and refridgerate it, bringing it to room temp for a couple hours before baking.

Only major thing I changed is to do the second rise on parchement paper, as it doesn't stick like it tends to do to the towel.

Tea Recipe - Red Pepper Jelly

Misplaced my recipe for Red Pepper Jelly. I think I originally got it from a friend's book about tea recipes. The local market had bright orange bell peppers for .99 a pound, so even though I was going to make this jelly later in the month for a tea, I decided I'd make a large batch now and can it.

Even with the jalapenos and serrano, there is only a hint of bite to the jelly. I prefer this jam to be more savory than sweet. 3 cups of sugar seems like a lot, but it's over 3lbs of peppers.

10-12 large red, yellow or orange bell peppers, seeded and finely diced or processed
3 red jalepenos - as above
1 serrano - as above
3 c sugar
3 T lemon juice
1/4 c Cider vinegar
2 t salt

Remember to cover your hands with plastic gloves or bag when de-seeding the hot peppers. Even a little on
your hands can burn for hours.

Cook all in a large heavy pot over med low heat for 1 hour. Stir occasionally, until jellied consistency, 20-30 minutes.
Taste and adjust salt as needed. Put in sterilized jars and process jars. I filled 5 half pint jars with this recipe,
you may have more or less depending on how much water evaporates. If you don't want to can it, you can store it sealed
in the fridge for a week or longer.

Serve on french bread with cream cheese, or with baked brie, or on gryere gougere. I'll post my favorite gougere recipe soon.

When web surfing goes bad

I made the mistake today of watching a video on hoarders. About an hour later I started cleaning. And I cleaned all day. Sweeping, mopping, dusting, washing, scrubbing, laundry, organizing and general sanitizing. Because I'd already planned to wash the sheets today, it didn't occur to me until evening why I started on the cleaning frenzy.

I certainly feel better because of it. I now get to start the weekend with a clean house.